Congratulations on making it to the final chapter of book I. Hopefully my instructions for subconscious control were not too convoluted or cumbersome to follow. I apologize if you felt this was the case. However, I think that it’s fair to say that you’ve now gotten through the worst of it as far as the intense theory part of the two part book series goes. Because book II will simply build off of the theoretical framework of this book, you will likely find it easier to understand as a result. We will now close out our discussion on the secular topics of the subconscious mind by stepping away for a moment from hard theory and taking a moment to look at, what I think, are some useful life lessons that I’ve learned in relation to controlling my subconscious over the years. As I’ve continued to write this book and have continued to have my own interesting experiences in a life where I control my subconscious all the time, I felt there were useful pieces of advice that I could give that didn’t directly fall into the main topics of previous chapters. I think you may find some of these lessons to be helpful to you in your own life and may even find at least a speck of wisdom in them as you start controlling your subconscious more and more often.

THE PLEASURE PROBLEM

One of the first major lessons I learned about life, as it relates to charging subconscious energy, has to do with the experience of pleasure. I think it’s fair to say that most of us place a great deal of value on our capacity to experience states of pure pleasure and enjoyment and seek these experiences out as much as possible. We can even, in a sense, invest in future experiences that we hope will bring us a great of deal pleasure and be willing to endure a great deal of hardship in the mean time to experience them. For example a person can work very hard in school and put off many potentially pleasurable experiences so that they can have lots of money in the future, after they graduate, and presumably engage in more pleasurable experiences at that time. But whatever the experience is that we place a great deal of value in, we generally want to experience some kind of pleasure at the end of it. Well when I first learned how to control my subconscious, I started to experience these higher states of pleasure by simply charging positive emotions. When I first learned how to charge the love emotion and noticed how amazing it felt to do so, I decided to keep doing it once I got the hang of it. Eventually I started deep charging different kinds of positive emotions and kept reaching extraordinarily high levels of emotional intensity and pleasure.

          I remember thinking how wonderful this ability was and how I absolutely never wanted to go back to a life where I didn’t know how to control my subconscious and wasn’t able to raise my emotion in this manner. I even began to wonder how other people could really could go day to day without regularly charging their subconscious to reach these heightened states of euphoria. I remember thinking that I would feel like I was confined to some kind of emotional prison if I didn’t know how to charge my subconscious or if I wasn’t allowed to do so in the elaborate way I’d learned how to do. Actually part of my motivation for writing this book – which I absolutely had no plans whatsoever for doing when I first started studying my subconscious – was so that I could teach others how to raise their emotions and regularly reach these heightened states of emotional euphoria as I could. Well as I kept charging in this manner, I eventually began to notice a bit of problem with it. I actually started to see the downside to feeling too good all the time. Now that might seem like a fairly shocking statement to you – how could there possibly be downside to feeling really good? Well I wouldn't have thought that such a thing was possible either until I started to experience these heightened and prolonged feel good states myself.

          First let me just say that the downside to constantly experiencing these states of emotional euphoria is not that they eventually get old and stop feeling so good over time. On the contrary, the very reason I’m able to feel so good is because I actually overcame that particular subconscious hurdle. In all honesty I feel like I can maintain these heightened states of euphoria forever and would likely choose to do so if it were not for that one downside to doing so. Second, let me also just say that the downside of experiencing too much pleasure is not that your body begins to breakdown and go into withdrawal symptoms like it does when you try to experience these heightened states of pleasure by taking drugs. On the contrary, the body seems to function better when you charge some positive frequency to really high levels using your mind. I actually feel physically healthier because of it although I have experienced mild emotional withdrawal like symptoms when I've stopped charging for a prolonged period of time. But then if this pleasure never gets old and my body is not impacted in a negative way by all of this positive emotional charging, then what could possibly be the downside to it? Well the answer actually has with the concept of purpose and its connection to the experience of pain or discomfort. To understand this, I’d like to first talk about how the experience of pain can actually have a positive effect on us.

          In chapter 11, we talked about the concept of deep charging and how positive subconscious frequencies are naturally antithetical to negative subconscious frequencies. This means that the more negative emotions and experiences you have in a rolling 7 day period, the more the passive subconscious memory of these experiences will dampen any positive subconscious frequency you’re attempting to charge during that same period of time. Thus in order to reach the really high levels of positive emotional charge, you’ll need to make sure you’re not also charging any kind of negative emotions and are not having any kind of negative emotional experiences. Now this condition is not really a big deal most of the time because we’re not trying to reach those insanely high levels of emotional charge. But if you want to get to the really high levels, you’ve got to ensure that you’re not having negative intentions and experiences and this is what I started doing when I first started charging emotion for the purpose of pleasure. And this was fine at first as it enabled me to reach really intense levels of emotional euphoria. But I then started to notice two negative side effects from all of this emotional charging in my personality. The first was that I became heavily demotivated. I had lost a certain sense of ambition and desire to really accomplish something important and meaningful in my life. I was quite content with simply existing within this emotional zone of euphoria and not doing much of anything else.

          The reason this happened was because I was always so happy and was in such a good mood as a result of all this charging. Recall that when you’re in a good mood, things that might normally bother you don’t actually bother you quite as much. Well this same effect was occurring with me but practically to an exponentially greater extent than normal. It actually reached a point that was no longer healthy. I was too unbothered by life, whether it concerned  problems in my life or problems from others close to me or just problems in the world in general. I stopped feeling any kind of ambition to reach difficult but meaningful goals that helped to solved certain problems in my life. I just felt so good that no problem ever really felt so serious that I should be going out of my way to try to fight against it somehow. It was always easier to just accept life and the world the way it was and live with it. I was in a state of calmness and acceptance that turned me into a pacifist when it came to, in a sense, fighting for change in my life. Even small goals that required a little tiny bit of ambition didn’t seem worth it to me. And when my life would feel like it was no longer growing because I wasn’t pursuing any kind of meaningful goal, I’d just charge more and become even more happy and content. It was kind of vicious cycle that I eventually realized that I needed to break.

          The second side effect was that I noticed that my tolerance for pain and discomfort dropped by an incredible extent. Now you might think that charging so much positive emotion would actually make it harder to feel pain and discomfort and it does to an extent. But it’s also true that it just made uncomfortable experiences that much more shocking to me as well. Because I was so used to feeling good, negative experiences started to look kind of new again to my subconscious. And when I, for whatever reason, was forced to deal with an uncomfortable situation, I’d feel a shock of negative emotion and discomfort from it as a result. This could come from having to work extra long hours suddenly or having to give a speech in front of a group. Whatever the case, I’d often feel a rush of discomfort that seemed to be much more intense than what I would have normally felt before I starting charging to experience all of this emotional euphoria. Now I usually only had to deal with these uncomfortable circumstances for a short time before I was free to go back to my comfortable emotional charging. However, because these experiences of discomfort were so much stronger than normal, they actually made me more determined to avoid them and to stick with my positive emotional charging. Again this lead to a vicious cycle of feeling good and avoiding any situation that required me to challenge myself. However, from this experience, I learned that there are actually two kinds of pleasure that are both important when it comes to true happiness.

          The first kind of pleasure involves what you might call “simple” or “easy” pleasures. These are forms of pleasure that tend to be very simple in nature and very instantaneous. They can be experienced very easily in the real world, should you have the resources to obtain them, and serve no purpose whatsoever other than to make you feel really good. Examples of these kinds of pleasures include sex, good foods, nice cars, jewelry, nice clothes and the charging of positive emotion that I was doing. After this kind of pleasure, there’s another kind that’s generally more “complex” and is naturally more “difficult” in nature. This kind of pleasure is not instantaneous and actually requires some of degree discomfort and hardship before it can be felt. To be clear I am not saying that some hardship is required because of some kind of real world limitation, such as money or resources. Rather hardship and discomfort are innately required due to the nature of the subconscious and how it functions. Thus even if you had infinite resources, you would still need to somehow experience discomfort and hardship before you could experience this kind of pleasure. Some examples of “hard pleasures” include the feeling of winning a sports competition after a great deal of training. The win wouldn't mean as much to you, and therefore not feel as good, if it were too easy. The joy you feel in these circumstances occurs because of how difficult the win was to achieve – or at least how difficult you believe it should’ve been to achieve. When you study really hard for a test you believe to be very difficult and get a perfect score, you’ll feel a great deal of joy and satisfaction because of the hard work you put into getting that score. Something you wouldn't have been able to feel for a test that was too easy and that you expected to be too easy.

          Thus hard pleasures allow you to feel emotional euphoria too but only after some degree of hardship. From my experience with charging emotion, I learned that I was trying to be happy by focusing too much on easy pleasures and not hard ones. I began to realize that happiness is not actually a destination or fixed state of mind as is often portrayed in the movies. Instead it’s actually a balancing act between these two kinds of antithetical pleasures. And if we go for a prolonged period of time without experiencing either kind of pleasure, or not experiencing both kinds at all, then we’ll always feel some degree unhappiness in the end. Simple pleasures help us to simply feel good and be happy in the moment. But hard pleasures tend to cause us to engage in behaviors that have a sense of purpose to them and it is this feeling of purpose that we seem to need to be happy on a subconscious level. If we go too long without doing something that feels like it has purpose and meaning to us, then we’ll always be unhappy in a certain way that simple pleasures are incapable of resolving. And it doesn’t matter what the activity is that you find purpose in as long as it has meaning to you.   Some people are able to feel this kind of happiness in goals ranging from graduating school, getting a promotion at work, saving money to buy something they really want, beating a video game, gathering a collection of some kind or getting a combination of tattoos and surgeries that make them no longer look human (I’ve seen cases where people find meaning in doing this as well). Whatever the actual goal is, it doesn’t really matter.

          Regardless of how large, small, selfish, altruistic or mundane the goal is, you’ll experience a certain kind of happiness as long as the goal you're chasing has meaning to you.   As as long as you’re experiencing these kinds of pleasures in life, you’ll always be happy to a certain degree. It should be noted that in some cases a person is too focused on purpose and not enough on simple pleasures and becomes unhappy in a different kind of way. For example if you’re working too hard and sacrificing too much of your free time for some goal, you will start to become unhappy in a way that purpose alone can’t give you. So once again, true happiness is ultimately a balancing act and is not actually a destination. An interesting question to ask is whether or not this need for both kinds of pleasures to be happy ever changes? For example seniors may no longer have the physical energy or vitality to chase difficult to achieve goals and may have a harder time experiencing purpose. Unfortunately it would seem that this need for purpose to be happy occurs in these circumstances as well and can become something of burden on us when we get older. This is why seniors who are still healthy, will sometimes prefer to keep working even when they don’t have to. Working gives them a sense of purpose and enables a certain level of happiness that they would likely have a hard time reaching if they fully retired.

NEGATIVE MEMORY AND NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

The next lesson I’d learned from my experience charging subconscious energy everyday has to do with negative emotions and, in a sense, the process of healing from them. After learning how to charge positive emotions for pleasure, I started using them as a means of avoiding negative emotions too. Now, even before I started the practice of controlling my subconscious on a conscious level, I had a habit trying not to dwell too much on negative thoughts. Around that time I had the philosophy that negative thoughts were completely useless and that you were always better off thinking more positive thoughts, even in response to some negative experience. I figured that negative thoughts don’t really have the power to do anything for you other than to make you feel worse. Therefore you might as well always try to think positively no matter what. Well this way of thinking became even easier to employ in practice once I’d learned how to charge subconscious energy. I remember one day having negative thoughts about something that was bothering me and then suddenly choosing not to follow this philosophy of not allowing myself to think negatively. Around this time, I was actually trying to avoid charging positive emotions because I wanted to stay focused on a project I was working hard on and knew that charging too much positive emotion would distract me from this project. I didn’t necessarily want to feel negative emotions during this time, but I did want to avoid going out of my way to charge positive emotions.

          I noticed that when I’d done this, I simply allowed myself to feel the negative emotions that came about from focusing on this thing that was bothering me. A simple mental feat that I actually hadn’t done in that particular manner in what felt like two or so years at the time. Normally I would just avoid dwelling on something that was bothering me and try to focus on something positive that made me feel better instead. However, I noticed that, when I  allowed my mind to dwell on this negative thing that was bothering me and allowed myself to simply feel bad about it, something rather interesting started to occur. I actually started to feel better. And not simply because I decided to focus on something positive instead. Rather I started to feel better on a deeper, more subconscious level. It was as if a kind of internal healing was taking place. Now, around this time, I had understood most of the principles of the subconscious that we’ve discussed so far so it didn’t take long for me to try to apply those principles toward understanding what was going on here. I wanted to understand how dwelling on these negative feelings actually had the effect of causing me to emotionally heal. Well after a little bit of effort, I believe that I began to understand what was happening and would like to discuss this phenomenon here.

          First, let me just say that I had a rather unhealthy mental habit around this time of trying to avoid thinking about something that was bothering me. Whenever something would bother me, thoughts about this thing would occasionally just pop into my mind and I’d start dwelling on it as a result. However, because dwelling on this thing would cause me to feel negative emotions, I would almost reflexively turn my attention away from this thing and toward something else. Something more positive in nature. This made it so that my mind was mostly focused on positive things throughout the day, or at least things that didn’t actually bother me. And this might seem to be perfectly fine at first glance. However, the problem with doing this was that I actually ending up pre-charging some negative emotion related to the thing that was bothering me. Because I would only keep my attention on this negative thing for such a short time, it was actually charging up in an entropy dead zone – remember negative memory doesn’t build up to full power until you’ve been focused on something for at least 10 seconds or so. Now because I kept focusing on this negative thing and switching my focus away from it within that 10 second period, it was actually charging quite easily. Now if I had only done this a few times, then it wouldn’t have been so bad. If I’d simply stopped thinking about this negative thing for good, then its subconscious memory would switch to a passive state and presumably lose energy after about 7 days.

          The problem however, was, because this thing bothering me reflected a problem in my life at the time, it tended to be a reoccurring thought of mine. In other words there was something in my life that was giving me a reason to keep thinking about this thing that was bothering me. But each time I had, I would still switch my attention almost right away toward something more positive. So these negative feelings just kept pre-charging more and more until they were essentially deep charging to a degree as well. This means that these negative feelings were starting to fill out my short-term subconscious memory and were dampening my ability to charge more positive emotions. And as these feelings would deep charge more, they’d affect my mood and cause me to feel them a little even when I was focused on something more positive. And that negative feeling wouldn't really go away until I either stopped thinking about it for a prolonged period of time or until I focused on it and allowed negative memory to build up for it. The latter case is actually what I did and is why I started to feel like I was healing emotionally. Instead of trying to avoid dwelling on this thing bothering me, I simply focused on it and allowed myself to “feel bad”. Because the subconscious memory associated with this thing bothering me was so energized from all of that pre-charging, my subconscious was rather volatile toward the act of focusing on this thing bothering me. And when I did focus on the bothersome thing, my subconscious instinct would react rather strongly and begin expressing negative feelings or “grievances” in a sense.

          For the first time in a long time, I didn’t fight this subconscious behavior or try to avoid it. I simply allowed myself, on a subconscious level, to express these negative feelings.  And at first, it did cause me to feel pretty bad – exactly what I was trying to avoid. However, after a while, I actually started to feel a lot better. Because my attention was focused on this negative thing, negative memory actually started to build up around it and suppressed my subconscious volatility toward it. This meant that it became harder for my awareness to enter a transcendental state while focused on this thing and charge any negative feelings further. Eventually I could focus on this thing that was bothering me and no longer feel this negative response from my subconscious. I could mostly think about it normally like I could anything else. In other words, negative memory had allowed me to experience a form of emotional healing. I then realized that negative memory can be rather annoying when it comes to positive feelings because it makes it harder to feel emotional pleasure from something over time. But it has the direct opposite effect on negative emotions. The more negative memory that builds up around a subject that has a negative association, the better you feel rather than less.

          From this experience I realized that it was wrong of me to constantly avoid thinking negative thoughts. Or more specifically, it was wrong to avoid thinking about something that was bothering me. Now if something isn’t bothering me, then yes it’s perfectly fine to think positive thoughts and avoid thinking negatively most of the time. However, if I find that some negative thought keeps popping into my mind and that I’ve managed to both pre-charge and deep charge it over time, then I’ve come to now believe that it’s actually best to allow yourself to focus on that negative feeling rather than try to avoid it. That feeling will generally be associated with something in your life that’s bothering you and has gone unresolved. I believe that it’s best to allow your mind to focus on whatever that thing is and allow your subconscious to go through a grieving process over it. This will be a period of time in which your subconscious instinct will continuously express negative feelings such as sorrow, regret, hate, anger and so on in response to you focusing on the thing bothering you. This will feel very uncomfortable and may even motivate you to do something bad as a result. You of course should not give into any impulse like that as that will just make the situation worse. Instead you will want to simply endure these negative feelings for a while. And after you have a few sessions like this throughout the day or even over the course of a few days, you will notice that your subconscious is no longer grieving anymore.

          You can now focus on the thing that was bothering you without feeling bad about it. More specifically, you can focus on the thing that was bothering you and your subconscious instinct no longer reacts by producing negative emotions. This moment indicates that you’ve experienced a form of healing on a subconscious level. In fact what ends up happening at this point is that your mind is now able to shock charge positive emotions and feelings while focused on this same thing that was bothering you before. This is because positive things now look new again after having gone through this phase of subconscious grieving and building lots of negative memory toward it. This newfound boost to think and feel positive can then be used to help you become more motivated to resolve the issue that’s bothering you in a productive and positive way. This was a very interesting experience for me because I hadn’t experienced this kind of healing in like two years at the time. Now I don’t usually end up thinking about a negative thought enough to pre-charge it and then deep charge it, but it has occurred on occasion. From this experience I then learned that, whenever I do find that I’ve have done this pre-charging in response to some unresolved ongoing issue, it is best for me to focus on this negative feeling instead of trying to avoid it. I should allow myself to go through a temporary subconscious grieving so that I can build up negative memory toward negative emotions.

          And if I don’t actually resolve the problem in my life and find that I’ve ended up pre-charging these negative feelings again, in spite of the dampening effect of negative memory built during subconscious grieving, then I should go through another emotional healing process again and then try again to resolve the issue in my life in positive away. When a person doesn’t resolve an issue that is ongoing and they keep pre-charging it more and more, usually in an effort to try to avoid thinking about it too much, they can actually end up supercharging it. Eventually the subconscious memory associated with this thing that’s bothering them will have so much energy and their subconscious so volatile toward it that their subconscious may express itself in a very explosive way as a result. In this case, the subconscious will compel a person’s mind to behave in some manner that’s aligned with some negative emotion that’s been charged up. You see this behavior when people explode in anger at some point in response to something that’s been bothering them for a long time. In other cases the individual may cry instead or, in a sense, pour out their heart to some one close to them. These experiences can lead to emotional healing too, so long as you don’t actually hurt anyone and make the situation worse. However, it is also, of course, best to allow yourself to heal before it gets so bad that you explode emotionally.

TRANSCENDENTAL PRODUCTIVITY

The next lesson I learned about charging my subconscious has to do with my sheer ability to physically work. Shortly after the phase of being in a drunken emotional stupor described earlier, I decided to focus on certain things that I needed to change in my life and made it my absolute mission to successfully make these changes. During that time in my life, I needed a lot of money to get my own apartment and to be able to pay the rent on my own. This was very important for me for certain personal reasons that went beyond simply wanting my own personal space. Until then, this undertaking had required so much money that I wasn’t quite sure how I was ever going to achieve it. I was paying an insane amount of bills at the time which simply made this goal appear to be just about impossible to achieve. Charging my emotions to feel good everyday made it quite easy to stop thinking about how I was ever going to solve this monumental task. However, when I snapped out of it and started to sober up, my attitude had changed. I decided that I was going to make enough money to achieve this goal no matter what it took and no matter what it cost. At that point in my life I had this admittedly absurd notion that I shouldn’t try to overwork myself too much. Sure I did the normal 40 hours of work a week at the time and even went through periods of time, mostly during my younger years, when I had a second job and worked 60 hours a week or more. So it wasn’t the case that I hadn’t ever worked so hard that I could be considered to be overworking myself.

          However, at some point I started to believe, as a principle, that overworking oneself is inherently wrong. I guess I felt like it was some form of self abuse or self devaluing and put it in the same box of things that I considered to be immoral and unethical. I felt that if there was some goal of mine that I needed to a lot of money to reach, I needed to figure out a way to do so without being immoral in the process. This meant that I had to find a way to get the needed amounted of money without actually trying to work too much physically. Well after not figuring out how to do this over the course of many years and after sobering up from all of this emotional charging I was doing, I decided that I could no longer afford to believe in this “not overworking myself” principle. I decided that I absolutely needed to achieve a certain goal of mine that required money, no matter what the cost. I then started looking for a new job and trying to plan out a new manageable work schedule. I decided that I was going to try to now work two full time jobs – which works out to about 80 hours a week. I didn’t know if I could physically handle that for a long period of time but I decided that I was going to try to do so. At this point I was so determined to reach my goal, that I figured I would just keep working until I felt like it was physically killing me. Only then would I choose to stop or slow down.

          At the time I actually already had one full time job and a per diem job that I only worked once or twice a month by choice. After a relatively short period of determined effort, I did manage to find a new job and adjust my work schedules in a way that complemented each other. I then started taking up more hours at my per diem job while also working my two other jobs. In the end, I started working about 70 – 80 hours a week between my three jobs, sometimes more. During this time I was working more than I had at any other point in my life by far. I actually started to regularly sleep in the car and would sometimes spend almost two days without actually going back home because I was working so much. A lot of the time driving home meant that I’d lose precious sleeping time, which became like liquid gold to me. So I just started sleeping in the car to get an hour or two more of sleep before going to the next job. And just to add insult to injury, I even started taking advantage of over time opportunities at my full time job. I was so determined that I must have seemed like a mad man who was addicted to work at that time. And since I’d never worked this intensely at any other point in my life prior to that, there were actually some valuable lessons that I had learned from the experience. In particular, there were important lessons I’d learned about the connection between the subconscious and the body.

          Before I started working at this insane pace, I wasn’t sure how much of it my body would be able to take. When I was younger, I had also went through a spate of time where I was working two jobs and going to school full time. I remember not only being incredibly tired, but I was so physically exhausted from being on my legs all day that I thought my legs might literally break from the strain. Luckily they did not, but I suppose that experience left quite an impression on me that would last until my later years. I guess a part of me, since then, had always feared that working so much might bring me back to that point of physical exhaustion which represented the absolute limit of what my body could take in terms of work. Remembering this experience, I decided that one of my jobs absolutely had to be a “sit down” job as that would be less physically straining. And I did eventually get a job like this as planned but I still figured that I’d end up pushing myself to the limit of physical exhaustion as I had before. Still, I was so determined to achieve my goal that I was willing to risk it. As mentioned before, I wanted to get as close as possible to my goal without actually dying in the process. I was ready again to see just how much my body could take. Well working as intensely as I did was physically exhausting and it did push my body a great deal as well, but shockingly it actually wasn’t as hard on me, physical or mentally, as I thought it would be. It seemed that something relatively miraculous had occurred during this particular phase of intense work that I don’t remember occurring previously.

          It seemed that my body had actually undergone a change that allowed me to work much more efficiently than I could before. And to be clear I’m not talking about efficiency in terms of some cleverly devised plan or way of approaching things that was simply more ergonomic in nature – although that was part of what I did during this time too. Rather I mean my body was physically performing in a far more efficient way than normal. This allowed me to work longer hours, work more often and do so with less sleep than would’ve normally been required. It was as if my body had changed to make me in to some sort of super worker. And what was perhaps even more interesting was how I seemed to be responding to all of this work emotionally. I wasn’t just a super worker physically but I had even seemed to become one on an emotional level. You’d think working an 8 hour shift at one job, then a 4 hour shift at the next and then a 5.5 hour shift at the third one and that doing things like this throughout the week, every week, would make me emotionally depressed and cause me feel like I was trapped in a joyless repetition of labor. But no, it wasn’t as emotionally taxing as you’d think it’d be. I didn’t feel an intensely negative emotion in response to all of this working nor did I feel that strong sense of recoil you might sometimes feel at the thought of signing up for extra hours at work. Even the passage of time at work started to feel different to me. I noticed that it no longer seemed like the day would never end when I was at work and I didn’t care as much how long it was before my shift ended – although that is not to say that I didn’t care at all.

          Overall this experience of almost continuous work didn’t actually feel like laborious torture the way I thought it was going to. Somehow my body and mind adapted and made the experience much more palatable than would normally be expected. But then why did this change in my body and mind occur? How was I able to work so efficiently that doing all of these hours didn’t feel like torture? Well I believe the reason has to do with my subconscious. Recall that your subconscious has the ability to “compel” your body as well as your mind. This means it can induce certain changes in your body in response to your intention and subconscious frequency. Well during this time of intense work, I was extremely determined to accomplish my goal. I kept producing the intention over and over again throughout the day, every day, that I would absolutely reach my goal no matter what it took – just short of dying. Although I wasn’t necessarily doing this for any kind of subconscious effect, my subconscious did still respond to these intentions and charged up in relation to them as a result. At that time I had mostly only charged my subconscious for the purpose of emotion and didn’t really think there’d be any significant physical benefit that would help me as far as engaging in all of this intense work. But much to my surprise, there was.

          It seems that constantly holding the intention to keep working in order to reach a certain goal actually caused my subconscious to charge up in a way that compelled my body to do just that. This special charge actually seems to have changed my body in a way that allowed it to work much more and with much less strain than would have normally been applicable. Furthermore it also changed the way I perceived work and responded to it emotionally. I no longer felt that sense of dread from working very long hours and having to go back to work very soon after just getting home. In fact there were even days where all of this extra work almost felt close to enjoyable, although it mostly did still have a negative emotional feel to it. However, that negative emotion was never shocking to me. By this I mean there wasn’t really a moment I felt a sudden spike in the negative emotion you might feel when you suddenly find out that you have to work longer hours than you would normally have to. Since I was always working all the time, lots of negative memory was able to build up around the idea of working extra hours so it never induced all that strong a negative emotional response when I’d think about working longer. And since I was constantly focusing on my goal and charging my subconscious to perceive it, I actually felt a lot of motivation at the idea of working extra hours rather than dread. In fact whenever I did finally have some free time, I found that I kept wanting to work again after a relatively short period of time of relaxing. I kept feeling like I was wasting precious time that I could be using to make more money.

          From this experience, I’d learned how important it is for you to be emotionally invested in a goal you really want to achieve. It’s not enough to just try to reach it in a “going through the motions” kind of way. Both your body and mind actually change in a way that will better enable you to reach your goal depending on how focused your attention is on that goal and how assertive your intentions are that you’ll obtain it. And all of this is not without cost either. When I was working these 80+ hours a week, I had already understood a great deal about subconscious energy and was even doing it fresh off the lesson I’d learned about emotion mentioned earlier. I’d previously learned that reaching higher and higher states of positive emotion actually required me to avoid negative states of emotion more and more, which included the discomfort I’d feel from working long hours. Well during this period of time, I applied this principle in the reverse. I actually made sure not to allow myself to emotionally feel too good during this time because I knew that this would cause me to start experiencing shock at the idea of working again. In other words the more I tried to feel emotional pleasure during this experience, the harder it would be to maintain the motivation to work since working specifically wasn’t pleasurable. To charge my subconscious to perceive and experience pleasure would inherently also cause me perceive work as uncomfortable and something I should avoid like the plague – which makes sense if really want to experience pleasure.

          I remember speaking with a coworker during this time, who noticed me signing up for an extra 2 hours of voluntary overtime during a particular shift we were working. She had known about the crazy schedule I was working and mentioned that I inspired her as she found it difficult to volunteer for overtime even though she was only working one job and also needed extra money just as I had. And yet, here I was doing it while already working 3 jobs. I remember telling her that the “secret” to being so productive in this manner was to stop focusing on trying to feel so good all the time. Most people try to spend the majority of their time experiencing a certain minimum degree of emotional pleasure. They feel that anything less than that minimum would be akin to emotional misery. However, what most people don’t realize is that maintaining this minimum of emotional pleasure also inherently makes it harder for them to work more toward their goals. If you really want to achieve a goal that requires a lot of work to reach, I’ve learned that you’ve got to sometimes sacrifice your propensity for feeling good. You have to be willing to disallow yourself from feeling too good and allow yourself to feel emotionally negative for a prolonged period of time. Of course this does not mean emotionally negative in the form of anger, sadness or hate and negative emotions like that. But mainly negative in the form of the emotional feelings you get from simply working all the time. I’d say these class of emotions generally feel similar to annoyance and the kind of feeling you have when you listen to the same song over and over again. Of course this would also include the negative feelings your body charges when you work too much as well, such as tiredness and exhaustion for example.

          I told my coworker that if she really wanted to find the motivation to work the amount of hours needed to reach her financial goal, she had to be willing to go for a period of time without feeling really good emotionally. This meant avoiding spending a lot of her time seeking out positive experiences. To be clear, that is not to say that you can’t have any positive experiences but rather you generally won’t be able to experience pleasure all that much in any single event. If you’ve deep charged a certain amount of the negative emotion that comes from working all the time, then this will greatly dampen any single positive emotional experience you have during this time. The only way to make these kinds of experiences more and more pleasurable is to stop working so much and allow your subconscious time to discharge all of that negative emotion that came from working so much. But if you do that, you won’t be nearly as motivated to work a lot and will shock charge negative emotions when do you try to work a lot again. It's as if feeling really good actually makes you allergic to hard work. On the other hand when you’re continuously working all the time and leave your subconscious in a state where you don’t experience much emotional pleasure, then you’ll build up a lot negative memory at the idea of working and your subconscious will still be charged for motivation to reach your goal. But this special subconscious state can only be maintained by willingly forgoing your affinity to have emotionally pleasurable experiences. If you can do this, then I believe you’ll be able to work hard enough to accomplish just about anything and your body will even change in certain ways to help you.

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